Russel Brand Forbidden from Mentioning Scientology

"BRITISH comedian Russell Brand, known for his controversial way with words, has been banned from making certain jokes when he hosts the MTV Video Music Awards.

The British comic has been warned by show bosses there are specific things he definitely can't say.

He explained: "I've been warned when I'm presenting there are two things I'm never allowed to say.

"One - C*** and two - Scientology.

"There is one sentence that could join both of those words but I'm going to try and not say it."

Russell is worried he will not be able to control his mischievous instincts.

He added to Britain's Daily Mirror newspaper: "I have a real problem when people tell me not to do something.

Now this is quite strange that MTV would single out Scientology as a word not to say along with the C word. I am not sure whether this is something that reflects positively or negatively on our favorite cult.

Maybe the Americans are being over-cautious but Russell does have history with MTV. He was sacked from the station after turning up for work on September 12, 2001, dressed as Osama bin Laden.

Anyway, I have been sampling a few news stories and I must say this Russel Brand character is quite a hoot. First his hair. Then his Manson-look. Then some downright funny comments. For example:

"When I was going to meet the Queen of England, the protocol people told me how to bow, not to curtsy and not to speak until I was spoken to. But all I could think of was, 'Grab her tits.' "

Thankfully Russell managed to control his urge and the royal bosom remained untouched.

After having earned a scholarship to The Drama Centre in London and being subsequently expelled for misbehaving, Brand said:

"I was a drug addict. I used to smash stuff up, cry, take drugs while at school, I had a mouse live in my hair, broke school property - I was a whirlwind of annoyance. They tolerated it for three years because the work was good but at the end, due to various afflictions and addictions, it deteriorated and I was slung out."

Joking at his good fortune for being named host of the MTV award show, Brand said:

"I'm planning to have lesbian kisses with Britney and Madonna individually. It's not going to be easy, what with my genitals, but I will try."

Brand, who won rave reviews for his performance in comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall, is welcoming the opportunity to get his raising star in the US raise further:

"People say you must enjoy it that no one knows you're famous in America but I hate it. Without fame, this haircut makes me look like someone with a mental illness. I want everyone to know who I am. I have to carry a laptop around with me so I can explain I am a celebrity."

Will he be able to control his impulses? Nothing is so sure. Recently, Russell Brand had to apologise for phoning the police with false information about a sex attacker during a stand-up show in Northampton, UK. However, he said it had been a "spontaneous and impulsive thing" to do, which is why he says he cannot promise not to do it again.

"You can never rule that out, that's the nature of spontaneity, things just sometimes happen."

The MTV Video Music Awards will be held in Los Angeles on September 7.

Quote of the Day

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/msg/1bfb517b11743bd5

"After all, how could a bunch of teenagers who'd never heard of Scientology until a few months ago possibly not easily destroy an organisation which has been around for decades, with tens of thousands of dedicated grownup members and many millions of dollars in the bank? "Piece of cake", as Lafayette R. Hubbard would say.

Sorry, I may have misplet 'cake'."