However, surprisingly, when it comes to practical advices anti-cultists provide to parents who have offspring in a cult, these are almost identical to those I would myself give (though some of the definitions I use may be somewhat different).
The question is: if these are valid for parents on how to deal with their Scientology son or daughter, why would it not be valid for anti-Scientologists when they address Scientologists who happen to come in their forum? Or otherwise wherever they meet them? Anonymous, take note...
Here they are:
- DO try to keep in regular contact via mail or telephone even if thereis little response.
- DO express sincere love for the cult member at every availableopportunity.
- DO keep a diary of comments, attitudes and events associated with his/her life in the cult.
- DO always welcome the cult member back into the family home no matter what is said.
- DO keep copies of all written correspondence from you and the individual.
- DO record all the names, addresses and phone numbers of people linked with the cult.
- DO try to bite your tongue if the cult member makes unkind comments.
- DO read all of the recommended books relating to cults and mind control, as well as reading other information on the cult in question.
- DO seek help and information from organisations specialising in counter-cult work. We care about you and your individual situation
- DO NOT rush into adopting a potential solution before carefully researching the cult problem.
- DO NOT say:"You are in a cult; you are brainwashed".
- DO NOT give money to the member of the group.
- DO NOT feel guilty. This is not a problem caused by families.
- DO NOT act in an angry or hostile manner towards the cult member.
- DO NOT feel alone. It happens to thousands of families every year.
- DO NOT underestimate the control the cult has over a member.
- DO NOT antagonise the cult member by ridiculing his/her beliefs.
- DO NOT be judgemental or confrontational towards the cult member.
- DO NOT antagonise any of the cult's leadership or members.
- DO NOT be persuaded by a cult 'specialist' to pay large sums of money without verifying his/her qualifications.
- DO NOT give up hope of success in helping your family member to leave the group no matter how long the involvement has already been
- DO NOT neglect yourself or other family members.