Daily Argus Hamilton

http://www.extremeink.com/jokes/2008/07/argus-hamiltons-column-for-7-22-08.html

"Wall Street soared as oil fell Friday, but gasoline stayed high. There's so much money in the gas station business they've installed TV screens at the pump. They ought to play porn movies so you can see someone else is getting screwed the same time you are."

"Barack Obama landed in Afghanistan on Saturday where he met with the provincial governor of Jalalabad. It was nothing new to him. To Democrats, all governors who don't run New York or Massachusetts or California are considered provincial governors."

"Iraq's prime minister Nouri al-Maliki said Friday he favors Barack Obama's plan to pull all U.S. troops out of Iraq in sixteen months. Last year Barack Obama's plan was to pull all U.S. troops out in one month. At this rate, by the time Barack Obama becomes president he'll be naming the permanent U.S. bases in Iraq after Teddy Kennedy."

"Chicago O'Hare Airport officials dispatched ambulances to assist the Mexicana Airlines jet that overshot the runway and crashed into a safety barrier Friday. No one was hurt. All one hundred and forty-two passengers parachuted out over California."